The latest episode in my crazy and never boring life:

For those of you who missed my shenanigans yesterday here it is:

Long story short:

I met a mum from school at last years school presentation night who was blind drunk but funny as all hell. We were going to exchange phone numbers but never did. Fast forward 10 weeks, we saw each other again, SHE got my number and rang later and invited me to her house for lunch (she lives in the next street). I never heard from her so assumed it was off as I had not contact number and didn't know where she lives and I ALWAYS confirm appointments that day.

I was in the shower yesterday when I heard someone in the backyard and it's Kerrie Anne. She knocked on the front, didn't get an answer so was tracking me down. I answered the door in a towel and she immediately demanded that I turn my air con on as it was sooooooooo hot. Stupid Sonja did. WTF??? hahaha So then she demanded why I didn't come to her house but that it was good as she was out to lunch with someone else. I asked "What if I turned up to your home and was waiting?" She answered "Well, you only live in the next street so you would of come home and I'm here now aren't I?" I told her I always confirm and she said as far as she was concerned it was a definate date and IF she was home she would of been knocking on my door demanding to know why I wasn't there.

She then demanded a cold water so I told her to help herself in the fridge whilst I got dressed and she looked at the fridge and declared "What? There's no wine in here!" I told her I don't drink (I do but it's in the beer fridge out the back) I went to get dressed (still in my towel) and she followed me demanding my phone number again. I asked her if I could get dressed but she followed me up the hall way until I gave her my number AGAIN.

When I got out she was laying down on the couch telling me her life story. Her father was in the mafia (now dead), worth 10 million, she was sexually abused as a child, her mother was murdered seveal years ago and the body burnt to death, her husband is sick of her not putting out and do I have sex with my husband regularly? Honestly, throughout all of this, I didn't say a word! She was here for an hour without asking me A THING! (Not that I would of volunteered any information. hahahaha

She declared my house to be spotless and organised and could I go to her house and organise it??? WTF???? She also wanted to have a baking and cooking afternoon at her house to do some bulk cooking. She's been a SAHM for 3 months, very much a career woman, and she's bored and broke. (I do think our definitions of "broke" are different though) When I informed her that I was a cleaner and charged $50 for 2 hours work she said "Oh, I wouldn't PAY you" WTF (again) hahahahaha "If I get a full time job again, I'll employ you" Mmmmm, I don't think so.

Anyway, as she left she kept trying to pin me down to another coffee date but I told her I had picked up a couple more cleaning jobs and would be doing them on the only days Ryder was at kindy. I kept making excuses NOT to see her again. Now, she's actually quite a witty intelligent woman but a fucking nutter so I don't want anything personal to do with her. I truly would be happy to have a cuppa with her at a cafe once a month but I don't think that's going to fly. Plus, she's fucking insane!!!!

So I posted a thread on SS yesterday titled "HELP with my new "odd" friend" and I was asking for advice as to how do I deal with this chick without insulting her being rude. I got lots of hilarious advice such as "You should of dropped the towel and declared yourself a nudist" hahahaha and "Put a For Sale and Sold sign up out the front of the house" and "Buy a big dog and padlock the gates shut" and "Invite her to your bible study class and quote some verses from the bible to her" (She told me she was a Christian so that wouldn't work) and "I could send my DH around to scare her but we've moved from the GC". They were very funny responses.

So I went to parent information night last night and she overheard my talking to another mum about SS and asked me all about the site as she's a member of FlyLady. I told her as little as I could when she declared she was going to join SS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I shit myself thinking "I HAVE to get home and delete that thread" LMFAO but by the time I did, someone had alerted and it was gone anyway. I emailed SS staff to ask for it to stay deleted as this woman wanted to join SS and Kirsten saw the funny side of it all and wished me luck. So, yep, good luck to me. I'll let you guys know what happens next. Oh, and I pray that whatshername doesn't stumble upon my blog or I'm really in the shit then. LOL

OMFG!!! She just rang and launched immediately into some drama and insisted that she was coming over in 10 minutes to drop off some helium balloons to hide at my house whilst her kids are home and she'd pop over later when they were asleep to pick them up and put them up in her son's room for his birthday tomorrow. WTF am I going to do????? It's truly not so funny now. She's honestly acting like we are best friends and have known each other for years! She gave me NO OPTION but to say yes. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!!!!!!